All the following poems are dedicated to one specific boy, Jonathan in case you haven’t been paying attention. They are pretty much all from last year, back when I had more hope. No, they haven’t been shown before. No, I’m not showing them to him. He . . . wouldn’t appreciate it. It’s an intuition thing. (Or, more likely, a completely cowardly thing. But still).
How Happy Two Can Be
You, sir knight, have truly won my heart
In every single love-like thing you do
It’s as if you’ve sent me one sure dart
Almost enough to make me rue
Your sweet and kind and graceful nature shows
Beyond reason why I truly fall
There’s a calling – feel the loving blow
Next to you, my heart feels not so small
Life seems so short – my love’s everlasting
Though death should come, my love would never fade
I feel as if you’ve been forever casting
And you’ve caught me my love – I am saved
Tell me, my love, if you love me
The world will see how happy two can be
The Hook
Never have I known one
To be such wonderful fun
We both laugh and play
Every day by every day
You bring joy to me
Without any hidden fee
I wish I could see you look
And know you feel my hook
Your Princess True
You’re my prince and I’m your princess true
Freely, I give you a loving glance
You look back the same way – what a dance!
Bound together by love me and you
Every day, our love we find it new
I’m so glad you took just a small chance
If you loved another – painful lance
If you ask me if I love, I do!
Ever slowly, time will fade away
Your loving arms tightly wrapped around
To your love, the sun’s only a small ray
For all eternity, we are bound
Will you say that you love – will you say?
You make my feet never touch the ground
From Head to Heel
From head to heel, I love you
Let me count every way
You’ve been kind and gracious to me
Far beyond what I deserve
You’ve suffered through my foolishness
Never saying a word
Your kind and gentle heart
Never fails to win you friends
And your smile could make an ice cube melt.
Your sparkling eyes match your smile
And they have sparked my heart’s love
I don’t know if I could stop it
I know I don’t want to.
Your artistic skill is beyond mere words
How does your drawing come alive?
You love to read, to laugh, to live.
Have you noticed I do too?
There isn’t much I wouldn’t do for you.
You would provide and protect,
Two qualities I need.
Everything about you is wonderful.
I know no ill of you
Nor do I know anyone who would claim to.
Do you know how rare that is?
I have finally realized that I have long ignored
What I was looking for was right there
How did I miss it?
How could I ever have even seen another?
My eyes are now open
Please don’t be frightened
And don’t let it be too late.
From head to heel, I love you
There is no counting the ways.
Peace of a Dove
From the moment I met you
You’ve been nothing but kind
I always feel safe – how new
I can relax as we share our minds
Wishing you could somehow know
That without you, I’m brought low
Though we’ve known each other for
Some years, it’s only now I’ve opened the door
Come to me, my love
Take me into your arms and life
I wish a peace with you and never any strife
I’ll bring you the peace of a dove
Love Me Back
Your love is like a Hershey bar
Sweet and addicting
I can’t get it out of my mind
You are just a little nutty – so it’s with almonds
Have I mentioned I love almonds?
One of the things that would
Make my happiness complete
Is to hear from your lips
That you love me back
As much as I love you
You are the first and only guy
I’ve ever written poetry to
You are that special and unique
Without trying, you’ve grabbed me
Now I would know that you care
Hoping above all hope
That my gift is precious
I know that it’s pure
Do you have any doubts at all?
Don’t make me stand and wonder
I am painfully shy, my love
And I give what I can -
My eyes, my smile,
And, if you ask, my hand
Your presence protects me
Deep Down
Am I dreaming this strange new world here,
Or hoping to much for what cannot be?
Am I seeing real things in my mirror
Or viewing only big fat fool me?
Did you know it’s you who bring me joy?
Deep down, deep down, only you my boy.
I Think I’ve Lost My Heart
I think I’ve lost my heart
It’s certainly not residing in my chest anymore
There, where it used to beat
Only an empty tomb
I’ve looked around so hard for it
Hoping to see it near
I bumped into you and didn’t realize
You held it so dear
I found someone else
And thought they held it close
But it turned out he didn’t
Wasn’t even interested
I kept looking far and wide
I went far away to look
I didn’t see it there either
And almost despaired
Now I’m close back home
And I’ve bumped into you again
Suddenly, I’ve remembered
That an empty tomb means resurrection day
I Can’t Remember
I can’t remember how we met
Only that I’m glad we did.
I can’t remember my first glance
That was filled with you
I can’t remember when your family
Became so close to ours
I can’t remember when I didn’t know you
That’s a good sign of friends.
I can’t remember when I fell
Head over heels in love
I can’t remember any of it
But I will never forget you
Meeting
The last time we were scheduled to meet
You came not. I know it was for a good reason.
Still, I hope that you missed me
At least a portion of how I missed you.
Our meetings will soon come to an end
Oh, how I wish I could tell you
That if it were up to me,
We would never need to meet
How I wish we would never part
But I know I stand little chance
Of gaining entry into your heart
Your kind, strong, wonderful heart
I Miss You
We haven’t met as of late
And how I’ve missed you
Just your very presence
Sends a smile to my lips
Your presence brings me
Delight beyond any words
Beyond hope and beyond
Reason – I dare to love
I dare to love you when
I know full well you may
Never even bother to look
In my humble direction
If you never pay attention
Eventually, I will turn
But I will never forget
You who were first
And I’ll miss you forever
Your presence my sunshine
I just want you near but
I fear that’s too much to ask
Nobody said it was easy
To fall in love and give
Especially when it’s you
Oh, longingly, I miss you
~~~~~
Do try NOT to laugh at this next one. I had a crush before Sir Galahad and one day, I just imagined them duking it out . . . okay, okay. I know it’s corny, but if you’re a female, isn’t there a place in your secret heart of hearts where you too have imagined men shooting themselves for your sake, and the greatest man of all being the victor? . . . Okay, maybe it’s just me. I swear I had a song in my head to go with this, and this poem would be about ten thousand times more awesomer, but that is just not as easily transfered to the blog as words.
A Ballad of Two Knights
Steel clashed on steel
As the two knights fought
Aye, and fought for two nights they did
With nary a breath for p-a-use
With nary a breath for pause
One tall and fair and cavalier
The other shorter, darker, and kinder
They fought under a rose-covered trellis
While a fair maiden watched from on h-i-gh
While a fair maiden watched from on high
It was a cruel fight to the bitter end
Though the two rivals had been friends
Some parts the maiden could not watch
Though she had captured both their h-e-arts
She had captured both their hearts
Sweating, tired, gasping the two
Circled each other like tigers
Watching each other warily
Awaiting the final b-l-ow
Awaiting the final blow
At last, the kinder felt such rage
He delivered the killing strike
And stood there, panting
While the maiden she did w-e-ep
The maiden she did weep
Down she came from her vantage point
To proclaim both fallen and victor
Though truly saddened by the loss,
The knight then claimed her h-a-nd
The knight then claimed her hand
The two were married in a year and day
Upon the bloody battleground
Ne’er did you see two in such love as they
And many o’ their years were b-l-ess’d
Many o’ their years were bless’d
~~~~~
This is what I imagined a poem from his perspective might look like. I couldn’t resist. Well, okay, I probably COULD have. But I didn’t.
My Lady Fair
My lady fair,
She has dark brown hair
And dark brown eyes
Where my heart lies
And every single day
Come what may
I stand by her side
I don’t wish to hide
Love like this – rare!
To be handled with care
She is so lovely –
My lady fair
A Knight At Night
He stared above him,
Into the inky blackness
That held the aloneness of the howling desert
And the ache of his heart
He waited for a glimpse of her
His heart beat like the horse
Galloping away from a panther
Who was preparing to spring
He waited in the desperate hope
He would no longer be alone
That she would join him
Out in the darkest dark
As dark drew on,
His heart grew faint
With dry mouth and quaking voice,
He softly called her name
She glided from the shadows
Where she had been,
Waiting and watching
For someone to call out
His throat constricted
How could he claim her?
She, the fairest. He, nothing.
He looked longingly, but . . .
She saw his hesitation
And with trembling hand
Reached out to stay him
And . . . she said his name
They stared at one another,
Not daring to believe . . .
He took her hand
And pressed it to his lips
Who was he that she should notice?
Who was she that he should pursue?
Yet, though trembling – in mighty fear
The two overcame their mutual cowardice
He said her name
She blushed rose pink
He smiled and . . .
So did she
Not Looking!
I refused to look for love
It didn’t exist – not true love
Boys were immature heart breakers
So proud of the pain they gave
I carried myself so proud
I wasn’t looking I said
Happily unattached were the words
No way was I going to get wed
Kids? Goodness, no.
Who’d want to go through all that pain
When they would never appreciate it?
No. No kids for me, thanks.
So proud to stand alone -
In the fierce way of the world
The howling desert wind
Knew more friends than I
All people gave you was pain
Nobody bothered even to try
To tell me I was wrong -
They knew I had the right of it
I was so convinced in not looking
So firm, so unyielding, unbent
No one, not even the boy I looked at twice
Could sway me otherwise
Then I met him
Well, I didn’t really meet him then
I just got to know him better
To talk with him some more
We’d been friends for a long time
Our families were close and often ate together
So it felt like we knew each other
For a lot longer than we had
It wasn’t one supernova -
It was the coming of a gentle rain
Slowly, drop by drop by drop
Friendship filled – plop, plop, plop
Nothing more than friendship
But what a good friend he was
And I was riding with him one day
Simply not thinking about anything
I turned and mentally reviewed
All the reasons I wasn’t looking
I looked at him and suddenly
They completely fell to pieces
Everything I’d asked for
Was there in that package
My eyes opened wider
And I absolutely could not believe it
Him. Of course. Him – why not?
What had I been thinking?
How could I possibly have ignored him?
Did he feel anything like me?
In a flash I went from not looking
To seeking his approval
Any sign of favoritism
Was, of course, rewarded
That’s where I am right now
Seeking his favor and face
I wish I could tell you the outcome
Whether or not I’ll know grace
Life is too uncertain now
For me to predict what will happen
How can I know the inside
And what he’s thinking?
What is he like you may ask
This man who convinced me
That looking wasn’t wrong
Or even so very very bad
He’s tall, thin, and lithe
All the grace of a panther
He’s humble, cute, and kind
And oh, what a reader
I could go on for stanzas
About his hands alone
Or how about his drawing talent -
Or even just his smile
I wasn’t blindly in love
I kept my wits about me
I knew he had faults
I knew also I didn’t care
I couldn’t begin to care less
What some of my friends would say
Only his opinion mattered -
Did he think about me at all?
It seemed as if he did
In some things he seemed to care
But in others, he wouldn’t go forward
It’s begun to drive me crazy!
So from not looking at all
I’m starting to think about pushing
The limits and boundaries
Of my circumscribed world
Maybe that’s what love is supposed to do to you.
Come Over Here and Sit By Me
Come over here and sit by me
Just let me lay my head on you
Have patience, listen to me read
I’ll watch you as you draw
Come over here and sit by me
Just to talk a little while
Have patience, listen to me talk
I’ll listen when you speak
Come over here and sit by me
Just to be still for now
Have patience, watch me be still
I’ll watch over you now
Come over here and sit by me
Just to pray a bit
Have patience, listen to my concerns
I’ll listen when you give yours
Come over here and sit by me
Just promise you’ll always be here
Have patience, rub my shoulder
I’ll listen to your very heart beat
Glowing
Haven’t you noticed yet that
I always glow when you’re here?
Is it really that hard to figure out?
Am I wearing too thick a veneer?
You don’t seem to even note
When I’m around or not
I notice and miss your absence
I enjoy your honored presence
You bring out the best in me
And make me want to be more
Have I totally misread you?
Weren’t you glowing too?
Glowing is so easy to fake
But I thought you were real
Now I’m starting to wonder if
You were only a mirage
Questions to a Certain Boy
Why are you so distant?
Do I really scare you so much?
I promise I’m not so terrifying.
Sometimes, I’m even soft to the touch.
Why do you keep silent?
Don’t you know I’m screaming?
Or, at least, I would be
If I knew you cared at all.
Why are you so afraid?
Does this mean a real promise?
I promise there’s nothing
I would do to harm you
Why do you value yourself so little?
Don’t you know you’re my sun?
You warm and light my world
And make me shine inside
Fireworks
Watching the fireworks
From the stern of the Hornet
After dancing nearly all night
I stand there in awe and wonder
If I’ll ever see fireworks
Of another kind in my life
And I don’t mean that scum bucket
Who smelled like sour liquor
And was old enough to be my dad
I mean someone kind,
Gentle, intelligent, Christian,
Loyal, patient, and good
Maybe if I just wait some more
I’ll find what I’m looking for
Perhaps it’s not folk lore
That people fall mutually in love
And watch the fireworks
Light up both their lives
As long as they both shall live.
Licorice Sticks
You, my friend, my interest
Are like a licorice stick
Sweet, addicting
Long lasting
It really is too bad
You’re about aware of me
As that licorice stick
Would be
This is a call to
All licorice sticks
To pay close attention to
Licorice addicts
And a call to the addicts
Who love their licorice
To take action, even a
Small one
The Story
This story is old
Time and again told
This story is new
Written down too
It’s the simple tale
Of a heart jailed
A tale well said
Of a soul-filled dread
A song that’s sung
Until day is done
A song that’s true
Of a love that’s new
A journey that started
For a near broken-hearted
A journey when stopped
Could not be topped
An old melody playing
To a heart that’s baying
A melody crooned
To a wish for the moon
A new glowing star
To two far apart
And a star so bright
It lit up my night
Yet no story is this
The account of my bliss
‘Tis a true tale
It will not fail
A song of pure joy
Regarding a boy
A journey I took
Just for a look
A melody by doves
To my heart’s true love
And that star so holy
I love him solely.
You Lit Up My Night
I wandered around, looking for a sign
That my love would not be on the vine
Dry and withered, like a dying rose
A beautiful, sweet maiden in her doze
A rustle outside yonder window pane
Ne’er did I think by that I would gain
My handsome suitor come to free me now
But then the question arose as to how
For I was walking in my blindness see,
I could not see him holding out the key
To open up my cold stone prison door
So captive was I, my will was no more
I turned and followed the wrong path for me
Trusted the wrong person – now, so stupidly
What was there I saw in that boy then?
After him, I’d had enough of men.
Yet you were waiting for me in that hall
I heard your voice and answered one more call
You were the one who lit up my night
And I’ve seen no thing that lit up so bright
~~~~~
The next two poems kinda go together.
Shielded
Too safe and sane behind my prison walls
So safe were they that I called them my home
Many people, my name they did call
An aging ceiling was my only dome
I thought I was safe and shielded there
I knew a boy I thought could be my life
My present hope – it was beyond despair
So resigned that I would be his wife
First, I found that he was not kind to me
Although he acted like he was the key
Second, I decided I would wait
For a love light even until late
Humbled by pride, I went further down
Into my dungeon, far below the ground
I stayed there – no remnant of the sky
Dared to come down and stay with such as I
I saw no future nor some hope for love
My dungeon walls I thought would keep me safe
Instead they kept out suitors for this waif
Still not ready for her one true gov
I heard a noise outside my dungeon door
So I got up to have a look outside
I took a look and saw to my surprise
A friend I’d seen so many times before
You had come now and I saw you at last
As if we’d met, but now I saw anew
Everything I’d asked for in the past
I saw I must never say adieu
You stood there grinning, hopeful and so kind
For a time, I did not know my mind
I was captive, but you did not care
You offered a key – question: do I dare?
I saw you with a gleaming, golden key
I felt the coolness in my clammy hand
My heart tightened as by a steel band
Along you came and then you set me free
Dazzled by the Sun
I walked outside,
Newly escaped from my prison home.
Thanks mostly to your key.
I’m sure you don’t care now.
Slowly, I turned the knob
And heard the door creak open
My eyes closed instantly
Blinded by the sun.
I had to slowly adjust my eyes
To the bright outdoors
I finally saw the glaring sun
Full strength beating down on me
I thought I might actually turn around
And go back to my prison
But you stopped me with a simple word
I lingered there for awhile
Finally I saw you as more than friend
So overjoyed, I thought it would not end
But you like my brother more than you like me
And I still live my solo symphony
Blinded by the sun. Blinded by you.
Will I ever open my eyes again
To see a strange new world?
No. You’re the only one that dazzles.
~~~~~
An apostrophe is a conversation or a monologue with something that isn’t human, in the case of the following poem, various . . . body parts. It’s not dirty, so don’t give me that look.
An Apostrophe to Someone Who is Not But Should be Here
If you were here as
You truly should be
And we talked freely,
What would I say?
If I could speak clear and honest
But once in your presence,
I would say to your eyes,
“Look favorably at me.”
I would say to your hands,
“Hold mine tight.”
I’d tell your feet,
“Never step away.”
Most important would be
The message I’d whisper
In the dark to your heart,
“Love me – oh love me.”
~~~~~
About the only thing I can say about the next title is that I thought it was ironic and funny at the time. Now I just think it’s silly.
An Italian Sonnet to a Chinese Boy (by His Infatuated German-English-Irish-Scotch-And-Possibly-French Admirer)
Why do I love thee? It’s not really fair -
You stand there in your shining self and know
You smile at me and I am brought too low
Around me all may fade but I don’t care
Will you e’er run your fingers through my hair?
You have my heart all tied up in a bow
The two of us are like the stag and doe
You do not make a speech of how you care
I love thee for you are the best of men
I truly love your face and nameless grace
I’m almost ready to quote Byron’s line
To look upon your strong and rugged face
Perhaps someday you will be known as mine
Your kindness starts to make my heart beat race
I’ll wait forever for a single sign
Harder Than it Should Be
Why does it seem
I’m always retracing the same old lines,
Learning the same old lesson, and
Singin’ the same old song?
Why’s it always gotta be
A stupid uphill journey
A vastly outnumbered battle, and
One more task that can’t be done?
Why does everything seem
Like the hardest thing to do,
But the thing you’ve got to do
No matter what the cost?
Why is it that I can’t let go,
Can’t be okay for once
Can’t win the battle
And finally be at peace?
My walls were built so high,
They stretched into the sky,
And I kept sharp shot watch
So how did he get in?
How do I tell him
He’s gained easy access
To a sacred place
I allow few others?
Do I love him? -
There’s the crux
And is it returned?
There’s the fear
Will the world admit
A small cleft for two,
Just the two of us,
Or will they close the doors?
If we two loved,
I’d find my ponderings
Easily resolved, but for now
They’re harder than they should be
They work out in my brain
Every single day
A hundred million times and more
Still there again on waking
So do you love me,
Oh my love? -
Will I find courage
To ask you once for all?
Can you find courage
To tell me the truth?
So at last I’ll rest
And cease to grind
Out the very old
Questions every single day
And at last things’ll stop
Being harder than they should be
~~~~~
I have no idea why this is number 23. It just felt like a good number (and I had a small thing for Shakespeare’s iambic pentameter at the time . . . rhyming iambic pentameter, to be precise).
Sonnet #23
There is no single reason why I fell
So totally in patient love with you
One single moment – I know this is true
It is so precious, I could never sell
My time with you is precious – can you tell?
Asking to see you every day that’s new
To talk, to walk, to love you truly too
My love for you is an unending well
I love to be with you in every place
It is as if you are my single joy
Would that you knew our holy love is right
I truly love to gaze upon your face
You know I’ll never treat you as a toy
I hope that we will never have to fight
To put it simple, love for us spells grace
~~~~~
The name Jonathan means gift from Jehovah. Yeah, that little discovery TOTALLY didn’t help matters at all.
God’s Gift
You know your name – it doth mean gift from God
I feel as if the gift is mine alone
Although my heart feels like it is a crumpled wad
I would that all my sins I could atone
I wish I knew you loved me in return
And that our love would last forever more
You know, I hope, to come and say you burn
For I do love you to my very core
I wish you would return my love and be
Someone who knows to hold me tight for now
And promises to stay and stay with me
I give to you my very solemn vow
You are the gift I have been waiting for
Give me your heart, I shall expect no more
Once More to My Knight
I see you, sir, and honor you
From on high in my ivory tower
Wishing I could somehow speak to you
But alas! My tongue is numbed by sorcery
You’re so kind, thoughtful,
And a rare true gentleman
I wish you’d look up just once
And see for yourself a gentle lady
Woeful is my lot for I cannot speak
And my knight does not look my way
He deserves so much better
Than the chained monster I’ve become
I wish I could find the fairest
So that I could see him happy
I expect no heroic escapes
And he cannot wait forever
None of you’d change with me
Nor I with any of you
For as long as I can gaze on him, happy
I’ll ask no more favors
Still, how I wish I was free
Free to fly from this cursed tower
How fast I’d fly – straight to him
He could be mine that fateful hour
Would that I knew my way out
Yet, I am my own worst enemy
The ivory tower is of my making
And I do hold the keys
Yet, though I am my jailor,
I wonder if I can be free
For if I were not imprisoned,
Would I still be me?
So I watch him from my tower
And wish him all my love
Even if I am eternally trapped
He is as free as the dove
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